In many ways they can seem more mature, attractive and have their lives more together than their shambolic single counterparts. Too many nights of looking stunning in your new outfit only to be admired by the cat as you’re let down yet again. In the unlikely event of being seen out anywhere by anyone he knows, you will be introduced as his niece/ cousin/ babysitter. If he has kids it’s highly unlikely he wants more, even though your imagination is working overtime dreaming of your own little family together. You can never just phone him when you’re having a bad day.
And sadly, as some grow bored of what they have at home, there’s apparently no shortage of them looking to cheat. As well as the big, glaring explanations for avoiding these – feeling bad about yourself and playing a part in ruining a relationship and possibly a family – there’s other things that will leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
The concept of a “strong” woman goes against a lot of our cultural programming. ◊♦◊Sometimes I think men would like their women to be like obedient dogs. Hard to believe, I know, but I talk to them in therapy every day. Men who find out will think you’re an easy target for unwanted attention. In fact you may be just the latest in a long line of ego boosts that he obviously needs. If you are (un)lucky enough to have him eventually leave his wife you would always wonder… For example, if someone said to me, “Hey Steve I’d like to introduce you to this really caring, sweet, loving soul,” – oh, that sounds good. When someone talks about a strong woman, it sounds good for helping lift furniture or running a company. When these men discover that they cannot control women, they think that marrying, for example, a South Asian woman will do the trick (boy are they in for a big surprise), you know, someone who is totally in alignment with your will, reads your mind and cooks your meals on time and just like Mom did. They are like people who complain about immigration, not willing to deal with change in a constructive manner.Doesn’t sound so good for an intimate relationship. And women have changed, becoming more vocal about who they are and what they are not willing to put up with. Do want a compliant Barbie doll or a real and strong woman?